Monday, 4 October 2010

Sweet Shop Poly

Do you remember being a kid? Do you remember standing in a sweet shop looking at all the sweets and really wanting them, wanting to try the bon bons and also the humbugs and also the toffees and also the cherry drops and also.....

This is what poly is like for some people.

We live in a majority monogamous culture. We are told that you get one partner and that's your lot.

It can be so hard when you first find out about poly not to go mad with sexual desire. It is all too easy to start looking at everyone as a potential partner and this can very quickly get creepy.

If you are already in a relationship, your partner may well come to regret their decision to go for poly. This could not only lead to the loss of the poly option but also seriously damage the relationship you have.

It is imporant to remember what poly is to you and to "take it slowly", if you want anything more than casual, this is the only way.

Also if you are already in a relationship then you must put the time and work into that relationship. If your partner feels insecure then poly is not going to happen.

Integrity is vital. Don't let the excitement and thrill make you less than you are. Try to act from your best and not your worst. It is better for self respect later and much more attractive.


  1. Yes! :) I am happy to find you three, i have so much to learn, because... well i am new and it's a candy store.
    Thanks, Katrin

  2. Hi Katrin!
    If you haven't already discovered poly forums, you might like to check out the following:

    If you have an open relationship type of poly, Polyamorous Percolations is a very useful forum:

    If your poly relationship is more closed (polyfidelitous) and equal then may suit you, as everyone on there is interested in living polyfi - some from a religious viewpoint, though there are many non-Christian people on the site.

    Poly Percs does have a few regular posters who are in polyfi relationships too, but more people on there seem to have Primary/Secondary type open relationships.

    Also, if you have not already discovered them, Franklin Veaux's polyamory essays are wonderfully insightful and well worth reading for any form of poly.