Friday 30 April 2010

Proud to be weird?

There are many varieties of people who seek a poly life, they run across the political spectrum, they are country folk and city slickers, however according to some, people who practice polyamory (as opposed to other forms of non-monogamy) have one thing in common, they tend to be weird.


When in mixed company I am far too often aware that I am the token weirdo, there is usually a point in the conversation where I am either: a) being looked at strangely because of something I said or b) I find my eyes rolling in my head, due to the inanity of the conversation when it turns to things that more conventional people think are really fascinating. I don't, I just really don't have the ability to pass well in conventional company.

However, in the company of most Polyamorists, I don't feel that way, in fact, I find I am often out weirded....a totally novel experience for me.

People underestimate their ability to cope with the stresses of being 'strange' living an out poly life in a mono world might not only cause estrangement from conventional family and friends, you may, in fact, find out that you are the local weirdo/s, you might be the person/family people whisper about in the supermarket, the ones talked about by neighbours over tea. You know that local eccentric that you have thought rather nuts but basically harmless? Well that's you that is. When you decide you want to live an out Poly life, you'll have to ask yourself, how much does your standing in your community and 'fitting in' mean to you?

Many of us who practise Poly are long time weirdos, we have non conventional ideals and interests, standing out is often expected (or even courted, to those of us belonging to subcultures with distinctive dress like Goths) and therefore, being the one pointed at, or talked about, is not new to us. Being Poly is not only about how you conduct your relationships, it is, if you choose to be out and honest about it, a lifestyle which people WILL judge you on, some will disagree with it quite vocally but harder to deal with, if it is new to you, will be your elevation into the status of 'other'.

1 comment:

  1. Who you calling a weirdo, huh?
    Lol, just kidding. I agree that I'm a bit odd in the sense that I listen to some weird music. And weird for being Poly and blogging about it. Maybe. But I have yet to come out fully, so I can only imagine what you're describing. The closest we ever came was at a beach party when my wife was approached by some guy who wanted to dance with her. She was drunk and responded, "Can't you see I'm with my husband? And my boyfriend? And my girlfriend?" He looked confused and we all just started smiling. Then he got super curious and started asking questions - which she entertained for a bit before she got bored with him. Then he asked if he could take a picture of us. We all looked at each other like, "Hmmm. Kind of weird. But, eh....why not?" So we posed and he took the pic. He smiled and said, "They're not gonna believe this back home. Thanks guys." My wife shooed him off with, "Yeah, yeah. Enjoy the party."
    I was dying laughing. She was so drunk.

    Anyways...I imagine it gotta be lots of fun being completely out. Is it?